Poo

I have spoken about this before. My small boy has big poo problems. This has been going on for 2 years now and quite honestly is breaking us. Not just him or me but the whole family.

It impacts on every part of our lives in every way possible. Even when it’s an okay spell we are watching and waiting because we know we are probably on borrowed time.

I am constantly watching him, watching what he drinks, what he eats, how many times he has been to the toilet, has he had a poo yet today. If he has had a poo what was it like, does it look like constipation overflow, was it enough. Will he need to go again?

I don’t like to go out until he has been and if it is a particularly bad day (the other day I had to clean him up 5 times) then we don’t go out at all. People say to me “oh just take spare pants and trousers and wipes”. They don’t understand that it is much more involved than that. It is not just cleaning up what inevitably will be very messy runny poo. It is dealing with the outpouring of shame and consequently anger that he will lash out with as he is only 4 years old.

He will scream and hit and scratch and sometimes bite. He will break things on purpose because he is angry at himself, at what he is unable to control Sometimes he will hurt his sister. Sometimes he will hurt himself. The other day he gave himself 3 nosebleeds in a row by ramming his fingers up his nose and scratching and picking. That was the day he went through 5 pairs of pants.

His sister has to sit by and watch him get what looks to her as all the attention. She tells me that she feels left out. She tells me that wishes all of this would stop. She comes and hugs and kisses me when I am in tears for the hundredth time whilst stroking my hair and gently whispering “shhh Mumma it’ll all be okay”. She is 6 years old.

We had almost 2 months recently where things got really good. By that I mean almost normal. He was realising that he needed to go and going to the toilet by himself. He was so happy and proud and we all felt like a weight had been lifted. I even took them to
Legoland for the whole day without my husband and it was okay!

Then one day he just went in his pants again, 5 times in a row. He wasn’t ill, we were at home and he told me he was too busy to go to the toilet. “You’ll clean me up won’t you Mummy?” He said whilst laughing.

I wasn’t laughing.

I’m still not laughing.

I want there to be a happy ending to this post but all I can say as that we’re all still here. I want to give up but I can’t so I’ve done this self indulgent brain dump instead.

He goes to school in a month. Big school.

I am scared.

I’m trying to smile.

I’ll keep you posted…

I

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4 thoughts on “Poo

  1. mollteaser

    A really honest,refreshing and heartbreakng post. I have several children in my class with similar problems. (An unusually high number in one class) There are some days when “little Flossie” needs changing 6or 8 times, she is embarrassed,angry, anxious and defensive. Similarly with the others. Hopefully your son will be supported with the love and understanding that I support “my” children with.
    If you want a chat about school, let me know x

    Reply
    1. realmrsmoore Post author

      Thank you so much for your message, it really helps to here your perspective and that you continue to support your little students. How very lucky they are to have you!!! I just don’t know how this is going to work out really. He gets so absorbed in his activities that he misses any slight signal at all. I hope being around his peers will really help as there is such a mix of ages at preschool. Thanks so much again 🙂

      Reply
  2. Sarah Darbyshire

    Anyone who has children will completely understand Anna. Most of our worries are what we cause in our minds, fear of judgement etc, and being bothered to clean up of course. It will pass and when it does it will seem such a distant memory as some other drama will occur to takes its place. Your honestly is awesome Anna and so are you. We all go through similar dramas, both mine had serious poo issues where I felt it would just never end. My 2nd is also 4 and I’m finally jumping for joy as 3 weeks in a row I’ve turned up to childcare and she has the same clothes on YAY!! It does become an obsession for the parent (toilet monitoring) but I really think it makes it worse for both parties. Obviously this is my opinion and jeez I wish I could take my own advise sometimes ;o. It will pass hun, don’t stress lovey and know most of all YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Everyone has or knows someone with major toilet stories.
    P.s if he shits in class I don’t think kids pay any attention to this stuff till they’re about 9 so plenty of time to work on it 😉
    I remember weeing on my friend Natasha’s back when we were 8 at school, sliding down a concrete slope together, I will never stop laughing about this story now, bloody awesome memories ;o.
    Love ya long time xxx

    Reply
    1. realmrsmoore Post author

      Sarah you are awesome thank you so much darlin’ xx yes you are right they don’t care at this age and one day it will all be over. Thanks again honey that really helped. Big hugs xxx

      Reply

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